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Frequently asked questions
At Adoptive Health, the approach to counseling is specifically designed to address the unique neurological and emotional landscape of adoption. While traditional counseling often focuses on symptom management or behavioral modification, this practice utilizes a developmental, sensory-based, and trauma-informed framework.
Here is how this approach differs from standard counseling models:
1. The "Bottom-Up" vs. "Top-Down" Approach
Standard talk therapy often relies on "top-down" processing- using logic and conversation to change behavior. However, for children with a history of early trauma or sensory processing challenges, the brain’s "survival center" (the brainstem) is often overactive.
Adoptive Health uses a bottom-up approach. This means first stabilizing the nervous system through sensory input and "felt safety" before moving into traditional talk therapy or cognitive work. Felt Safety is continually challenged in kids from hard places and must be continually nurtured and supported.
2. The Focus on "Felt Safety"
In many therapeutic settings, a child is considered "safe" because they are in a protected environment. In adoption-competent therapy, we recognize that actual safety is not the same as "felt safety." While physical safety is an objective fact e.g. "There are no immediate threats in the room"), felt safety is how the nervous system perceives that environment.
A child’s nervous system may still be scanning for threats based on past experiences. This practice prioritizes helping the child achieve a physiological state of calm, which is the necessary foundation for any emotional growth.
3. Integrating the "Hero’s Journey"
Adoptive Health views the child’s experience not as a series of problems to be fixed, but as a Hero’s Journey toward integration. This framework honors the child's past while building their future:
Recognizing the Call: Honoring early history and the natural curiosity about one's origins.
Crossing the Threshold: Moving from survival mode into a secure, neurological sense of safety.
Navigating Trials: Using frameworks like TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) and the Neurosequential Model to build resilience and attachment.
4. Specialized Milestones
Traditional counseling measures success by chronological age expectations. Adoptive Health recognizes layered milestones, acknowledging that a child may need to revisit earlier developmental stages (like infancy-level trust) to heal gaps left by early childhood adversity or interrupted attachment.
4. Adoptive parents need ongoing and specialized support
Adoptive Health deeply understands that parents are the bedrock foundation for their children. Adoptive children benefit immensely from intentional, informed, and creative parenting. Because of this, parents need a community of understanding professionals to support their nuanced emotional journey- providing sound advice, real-world experience, and deep empathy.
In a very real way, the parent is on a quest of their own: to become the steady, protective Guardian of the Hearth that their child needs. We are here to walk alongside you through every step of that quest.
Support for parents and caregivers is a core part of the practice. The developmental journey in adoption and foster care is a family-wide experience.
Parent-only support typically focuses on helping you understand the "why" behind your child's actions, especially when they are rooted in interrupted attachment or past trauma.
Also, just as children in adoption walk a specialized path, parents must navigate their own adoption-specific developmental tasks, emotions, and bodily impacts. Adults are impacted by the stress of a wounded child, which impacts the adult's "felt safety."
Many times, adoptive parents are affected by Secondary Traumatic Stress (STS)- the emotional duress that results when an individual hears about or witnesses the firsthand trauma of another; Sensory Overload, and Blocked Care (chronic stress can physically shut down the brain's social connection centers, making it difficult to feel the warmth or joy of parenting.)
Many parents find that they process emotions, and thoughts that are mirrored by other adoptive parents and their adopted children as well:
Recognition of the New Role: Moving beyond the "idealized" version of parenthood to embrace the unique, complex reality of being an adoptive parent.
Processing Loss and Grief: Acknowledging the "ghosts" in the room- including the loss of biological dreams, the loss of a "traditional" parenting experience, or the grief for the child’s original losses.
Navigating the "Hard" Emotions: Creating space to safely process anger, fear, and the feeling of being "not enough" without shame.
Identity Reconstruction: Deconstructing old expectations to build a new identity that honors the child’s history and the family's shared future.
Adoptive Health hosts Adoption-competent Workshops where you can connect with a community of peers to navigate your own journey and adoption-related tasks together.
At Adoptive Health, we believe in meeting a child exactly where they are- developmentally and emotionally. We practice developmental attunement, recognizing that for many children in the adoptive community, healing requires "circling back" to meet earlier needs that may have been missed.
Sensory safety is our number one priority. Before a child can engage in the deep work of emotional integration, their nervous system must feel secure. We begin by assessing and honoring each child’s unique sensory profile; identifying what soothes them and what overstimulates them- to create a therapeutic environment where they can truly feel at rest.
We start this process by having caregivers complete a Sensory Profile assessment. For children 11 and older, we use an adolescent version that allows them to share their own perspectives. This "bottom-up" approach helps us protect their sensory system and creates a shared language of safety for the whole family. We often encourage caregivers to complete a profile for themselves as well, providing the insights needed to become strong, steady co-regulators.
When families arrive in a season of heightened emotions and behaviors, our collaborative approach by incorporating sensory interventions, pacing, and team collaboration. This helps to "lower the temperature" and creates the necessary space to focus on underlying adoption-related progress and long-term healing.
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